Disagreements and arguments occur in any close relationship. Don't be disillusioned or disheartened by them. Nevertheless beware of allowing arguments and disagreements to escalate out of manageable proportions.
Making up instead of breaking up requires tact, gentleness, and humility. Here is how to do it.
1. Don't beat a dead horse after you've spoken your mind. We all want to be heard, but don't go overboard and force feed someone.
2. Avoid raising your voice to make a point. Nobody wants to be shouted at. Besides if you feel someone is not listening to you, raising your voice certainly isn't going to change their heart or mind to do so.
3. Seek to listen and understand where the other person is coming from. Listen with your heart more than your head.
4. If what is being said seems illogical and irrational, at the very least honor the person's feelings. Feelings are everything in a relationship. Whether or not you understand the mental model and way of reasoning is of little consequence compared to the importance you should place on how the person feels at any given point in time.
5. Led a sympathetic heart and ear. Regardless of your ability to understand and agree, kindly give your heart to them showing mercy and kindness.
6. Hug your beloved and tell them you are there for them. Always be supportive, while not conceding to change or yield unless you truly feel such is an appropriate course of action.
7. When you know you've done something grossly inconsiderate, been insensitive, or acted inappropriately apologize. Simply and humbly admit your wrong doing and ask for forgiveness. Acknowledge precisely what is was you did or said that upset the person and gently apologize asking to be forgiven.
8. Give chocolates or flowers. Extend some type of small gift to build a bridge and make peace. Everybody loves gifts. Yet beware of using gifts to replace your time and heartfelt commitment. Take care of the first things first than follow with a loving gift that you know will help make amends.
9. Do something together to reignite the passion and sense of celebration. If your loved one has a particular hobby and activity they enjoy, spend the day together doing that.
10. If other people are involved, try to get everyone together and rectify the wrong from the offense that occurred. Sometimes a private apology will not suffice for a public embarrassment. Do your best to apologize in front of everyone who was present to restore the dignity of the person you bruised.
11. Send an apology through a letter, love note, or email putting it in writing. Written apologies are good if you have difficulty formulating your thoughts. Make sure you include everything you want to say to acknowledge you were fully aware of what was inappropriate about the situation.
12. Express all of the wonderful things you like and cherish about your beloved. Compliment and assure them that they are valuable and special to you.
Words and acts of reconciliation go a long way. Don't lose heart. Endeavor to build bridges, humbly grow personally, and become increasingly self-aware to minimize future relational damage.
Best of wishes as you grow in love and learn to love better.
Paul Davis is a FL real estate professional, life coach (relational & professional), worldwide minister, and change master.
Paul is the author of several books including Breakthrough for a Broken Heart; Adultery: 101 Reasons Not to Cheat; Are You Ready for True Love; Stop Lusting & Start Living; Waves of God; Supernatural Fire; Poems that Propel the Planet; and God vs. Religion.
Paul's compassion for people & passion to travel has taken him to over 50 countries of the world where he has had a tremendous impact. Paul has served in many war-torn, impoverished and tsunami stricken regions of the earth. His Dream-Maker Inc. is building dreams, breaking limitations & reviving nations.
Paul's Breakthrough Seminars inspire, revive, awaken, impregnate with purpose, impart the fire of desire, catapult people into a new level of self-awareness, facilitate destiny discovery and dream fulfillment.
Contact Paul to minister, speak at your event or for life coaching: RevivingNations@yahoo.com, 407-284-1705.
For additional info:
www.DreamMakerMinistries.com
www.CreativeCommunication.TV
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