How To Get Your Man To Talk To You

By: Gil Bryan

Many women feel like their man just doesn't like to communicate to them. This is because they believe that in order for him to be communicating to them; he has to communicate the way they think he should be communicating.

A woman may not even realize that her man is, and has been, communicating to her, but she hasn't been hearing him.

When men communicate, they do it the way they are primarily made up, and that is logically.

When women communicate, they do it the way they are primarily made up, and that is emotionally.

And as I have said before, one is not better than the other, they are just different.

Since he is logical, he is going to be solution oriented. So, what he is trying to communicate to you must pass through his mind. In other words, he must think it through first. And this process usually takes some time.

But if you don't understand this about men, a man's way of communicating may become frustrating to you. Plus, you could end up pushing him to communicate like you do.

For example, since you are a talker you want him to be a talker, too. So, since he is not communicating to you like you think he should; by talking, you write him off as being insensitive or uncaring. And you figure that, if he is so insensitive and uncaring to your needs, you are better off either by yourself or with someone else.

And, because you did not invest the energy and time to get the right knowledge, you simply jump out of one relationship and into another, only to find yourself in the same predicament again.

But before you jump ship try applying these 5 keys to getting your man talking… to you:

1. Don't ask you're man what he is feeling, ask him what he is thinking

When trying to get your man (or any man for that matter) to communicate to you, don't ask him 'what he is feeling'. Instead ask him what he is thinking. Feeling is an emotion that does not compute with him. (Note: I did not say he doesn't have feelings.)

It's just when communicating a man must process what you are saying through his mind (his logical side), and you are trying to get him to talk through his feelings or his emotional side. When this happens, a man will most likely clam up, short circuit, and decide to not say anything.

Or, he will do like most men do, either he will get angry and walk away or get angry and attack.

But it is imperative that you do not come to any conclusion about what he is feeling until you find out what he is thinking.

2. Give him the space and time he needs to think his thoughts through.

A man needs time to get his thoughts together. This could take a little while or a long while. How long this may take really depends on your man. But a good way for you to give him the space and time he needs to get his thoughts together is to ask him when he thinks it will be a good time for you two to get together and talk.

Notice I said, when ‘he thinks'. If your man feels like you are trying to control or push the idea on him, it will cause him to back away from the idea.

3. Set a time and date

Set a time and date for the ‘talk'. Setting a time and date is important to a man because it appeals to his logical side. But don't set a time and date too far into the future because anything after a few days, most men will simply forget or put it out of their minds.

4. Set boundaries Before the ‘talk' even begins set boundaries which you both agree can't be crossed. For example, start off by agreeing that there will be no yelling, no name calling, and no finger pointing. And, there will be no use of words like ‘never' and ‘always'. In other words, you wouldn't want to say things like, "You never listen to me", "You always wait for me to pick up after you" or "You always do that".

5. Write down your questions and concerns

If your man continues to put off the ‘talk' then write down your questions and concerns and ask him to read over them at a time that is convenient to him. This is good because even though he knows the ‘talk' is important to you he also feels comfort in knowing that you are not pushing it on him. Which makes him feel like he is still in control. And also gives him time to process (think about) your concerns as he goes through his day.

Plus, as an added bonus, by you writing out your concerns and organizing your thoughts, you are learning different and better ways of communicating.

Remember, that is what this is all about, you being in control of you. You can't control other people but you can control you. And the more you learn what it takes to be a better you, the wiser you become. And as your wisdom increases so does your value – to the point where you become priceless.

Free Article brought to YOU by ArticlesOn.com, where you'll find Articles On Everything! Visit http://articleson.com to get more free content.

The secret of men has been revealed! Why are some women great at finding and keeping a good man while other women are not? Get Gil Bryan’s, "9 Spiritual Laws To Attract And Keep The Man Of Your Dreams!" www.GilBryan.com

Do you suffer from Male P.M.S? ... yes pre-menstrual stress!

By: Dr Graeme Teague,


Yes, you read it. Men suffer from P.M.S (pre-menstrual stress).

I am a man, and I like you (if you are also male) may suffer from P.M.S, why? Just like women you have a hormonal system. If this system is out of balance, then symptoms may occur.

A common symptom of hormonal imbalance is premenstrual stress. The problem with men is that you don’t menstruate. So you just don’t know you are suffering because there is no way to know it is premenstrual.

How do you know if you suffer?

Ask your wife, spouse, girlfriend or family or friends, to mark on a calendar when you are grumpy, moody or just feel as if you are under stress. When you feel tired, when work is upsetting you, when you stress affects you or you are anxious. Mark it on the calendar and note the pattern.

Every four to six weeks you will have a period where you feel grumpy, moody, tired etc. This is the male hormonal cycle.

Most of you will be saying … it isn’t me; it’s just been a busy period of time. I’m not grumpy, people just don’t understand me. Of course I’m anxious, look at all the work stress I have, the deadlines I have to complete by Friday.

Look around you, if everyone else is doing the same workload as you, are they just as grumpy, tired and irritable. If not … it is you … and yes … you are suffering from P.M.S (pre-menstrual stress).

Just ask those around you, if they believe you suffer. Don’t get mad, grumpy or depressed if they say … yes!

Men's health is a common topic today. You die earlier than women; have worse health statistics, more heart disease and many other health complaints. You deal with stress less efficiently and the effects of stress are worse.

The hormonal system is part of this. Did you know that your hormonal system controls your heart rate, cholesterol, stress response and blood pressure? All common problems, in men.

The first symptoms of imbalance in the hormonal system are not a heart attack or high blood pressure. It is the annoying symptoms that you discount easy … P.M.S (pre-menstrual stress).

Like most other bodily functions, the hormonal system is ignored when there are only minor signals saying it is out of balance. How often do you wait until your back is crippling you, before you see someone to remove the pain?

Hormonally, the same applies. You ignore the minor symptoms (this is not just men, women do this also hormonally), until larger ones occur.

Women end up with Hysterectomy’s, or cancers of the uterus etc, thyroid problems and many other health problems. Men, because even though you have the same organs as women, you still function differently, end up with heart problems.

As life is increasing in stress, the hormonal system is asked to work harder. Notice how as life is more stressful, there is an increasing number of testicular cancers, prostate problems, heart disease … all the statistics for these are getting worse not better.

So what to do?

Get healthy, hormonally included. Reduce stress, boost your energy, have more holidays, relax more, learn ways to look after your self better.

Male P.M.S (pre-menstrual stress) is just the first sign of ill health; don’t put it down to a bad day at the office, or just too much stress. Change now before it is too late, don’t end up clutching your chest, riding to hospital in the back of the ambulance and then remembering …

If only I had listened, become healthy and lived better … if only.

Free Article brought to YOU by ArticlesOn.com, where you'll find Articles On Everything! Visit http://articleson.com to get more free content.

Dr Graeme Teague is an expert on stress and the affects it has on health. His unique and fresh views on anxiety, depression and stress are a welcome change. His web site Fast Stress Relief.com is designed to give you all the information and facts on how and why stress affects you, and more importantly simple, proven and natural ways to eliminate anxiety, depression and stress. Learn more here - just visit ... Anxiety ... X--Stress ... Home Page

World's Most Bizarre Specialty Coffee

Jon Symons

Anyone who lives in a big city these days has seen first-hand the proliferation of 4-dollar-a-shot coffee shops. Thanks to Starbucks and their like coffee has become the number 2 commodity in the world (petroleum is number 1).

Grown in dozens of countries world wide the coffee 'bean' is actually the pit of a coffee 'cherry'. In normal circumstances the cherries are picked at the peak of ripeness and once the outer fruit is removed the coffee bean is ready for roasting, grinding and transporting to your local café.

However, there are three small islands in the Indonesian Archipelago called Sumatra, Java and Sulawesi where this process takes a bizarre twist. You see coffee is coveted by not only by us humans but a local creature called a Palm Civet. The Palm Civet is a tree dwelling marsupial with a particular fondness for the local variety of coffee cherries.

Of course, these cat-sized coffee aficionados don't have the time to peal the cherries and eat just the fruit, so they swallow them whole. Well guess what comes out the other end? Yes that's right, a non-digested, semi-fermented coffee bean.

It started as a way for locals who weren't brave enough, or too lazy to climb the coffee trees, to have coffee too (mind you some bravery is required to sift through mountains of Civet droppings for coffee beans!).

Through the magic of international trade what was once a source of free coffee beans for impoverished locals turned into the most expensive beverage in the world. It is marketed as a coffee variety called "Kopi luwak". Kopi is the Indonesian word for coffee and luwak is their name for the coffee eating Civet.

Kopi luwak sells for a whopping $75 a pound and it is estimated that the worldwide annual production is only about 500 pounds. Japan is the largest importer of this specialty coffee and it is now available in the United States and many other countries as well.

The flavor of the coffee is described as complex and very rich. This special flavor is attributed to the natural fermentation process that occurs as the beans travel the length of the Civet's digestive tract.

You can be sure that you won't be finding Kopi luwak for sale at your local Starbucks any time soon but if you are ever in a café and you notice the daily special is "Kopi luwak" and is going for $5 a cup, how could you not give it a try?

Jon Symons is a coffee lover and writes about specialty coffee for http://specialty-coffee.oftheday.ca.

Make Up Strategies

By Paul Davis

Disagreements and arguments occur in any close relationship. Don't be disillusioned or disheartened by them. Nevertheless beware of allowing arguments and disagreements to escalate out of manageable proportions.

Making up instead of breaking up requires tact, gentleness, and humility. Here is how to do it.

1. Don't beat a dead horse after you've spoken your mind. We all want to be heard, but don't go overboard and force feed someone.

2. Avoid raising your voice to make a point. Nobody wants to be shouted at. Besides if you feel someone is not listening to you, raising your voice certainly isn't going to change their heart or mind to do so.

3. Seek to listen and understand where the other person is coming from. Listen with your heart more than your head.

4. If what is being said seems illogical and irrational, at the very least honor the person's feelings. Feelings are everything in a relationship. Whether or not you understand the mental model and way of reasoning is of little consequence compared to the importance you should place on how the person feels at any given point in time.

5. Led a sympathetic heart and ear. Regardless of your ability to understand and agree, kindly give your heart to them showing mercy and kindness.

6. Hug your beloved and tell them you are there for them. Always be supportive, while not conceding to change or yield unless you truly feel such is an appropriate course of action.

7. When you know you've done something grossly inconsiderate, been insensitive, or acted inappropriately apologize. Simply and humbly admit your wrong doing and ask for forgiveness. Acknowledge precisely what is was you did or said that upset the person and gently apologize asking to be forgiven.

8. Give chocolates or flowers. Extend some type of small gift to build a bridge and make peace. Everybody loves gifts. Yet beware of using gifts to replace your time and heartfelt commitment. Take care of the first things first than follow with a loving gift that you know will help make amends.

9. Do something together to reignite the passion and sense of celebration. If your loved one has a particular hobby and activity they enjoy, spend the day together doing that.

10. If other people are involved, try to get everyone together and rectify the wrong from the offense that occurred. Sometimes a private apology will not suffice for a public embarrassment. Do your best to apologize in front of everyone who was present to restore the dignity of the person you bruised.

11. Send an apology through a letter, love note, or email putting it in writing. Written apologies are good if you have difficulty formulating your thoughts. Make sure you include everything you want to say to acknowledge you were fully aware of what was inappropriate about the situation.

12. Express all of the wonderful things you like and cherish about your beloved. Compliment and assure them that they are valuable and special to you.

Words and acts of reconciliation go a long way. Don't lose heart. Endeavor to build bridges, humbly grow personally, and become increasingly self-aware to minimize future relational damage.

Best of wishes as you grow in love and learn to love better.

Paul Davis is a FL real estate professional, life coach (relational & professional), worldwide minister, and change master.

Paul is the author of several books including Breakthrough for a Broken Heart; Adultery: 101 Reasons Not to Cheat; Are You Ready for True Love; Stop Lusting & Start Living; Waves of God; Supernatural Fire; Poems that Propel the Planet; and God vs. Religion.

Paul's compassion for people & passion to travel has taken him to over 50 countries of the world where he has had a tremendous impact. Paul has served in many war-torn, impoverished and tsunami stricken regions of the earth. His Dream-Maker Inc. is building dreams, breaking limitations & reviving nations.

Paul's Breakthrough Seminars inspire, revive, awaken, impregnate with purpose, impart the fire of desire, catapult people into a new level of self-awareness, facilitate destiny discovery and dream fulfillment.

Contact Paul to minister, speak at your event or for life coaching: RevivingNations@yahoo.com, 407-284-1705.

For additional info:
www.DreamMakerMinistries.com
www.CreativeCommunication.TV

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Paul_Davis

The Psychological Aspects of Balding

By: Robert M. Bernstein M.D.

Hair loss is a problem for millions of men and women, both young and old. It can decrease self-esteem and confidence, and limit the ability to enjoy life to the fullest. Balding affects people in different ways, but certain emotional reactions seem to be shared by many.

Hair Loss and the Mating Game

The most common concern that people have when they begin to lose their hair is that they will be less attractive to the opposite sex. The interesting thing is that this is often only the view of the person that is balding and not that person’s partner. The spouse, or friend of those experiencing hair loss, commonly state that the only thing that bothers them is that it makes their partner depressed. The balding does not bother them per se.

It is interesting that women sometimes express that they want their spouses to look good for the wedding pictures, but once married, they become far less concerned. In fact, when a married man suddenly becomes interested in having a hair transplant, we have seen the spouse become suspicious of extra-marital interests and object to the procedure.

Balding on the Job

Another concern is that the person with hair loss feels he or she looks older than they actually are and will not be as competitive in the work force. Unfortunately, studies have shown that this is a real concern. When employers are screening job applicants, all other things being equal, those with hair are viewed more favorably than those who are bald.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

People experiencing hair loss complain that the way they look does not fit with their own image of themselves. This occurs when someone begins to lose hair early i.e., in their late teens or twenties, but it is as much a problem when someone has had a full-head of hair for years (and is used to receiving compliments about their hair) and then their hair thins unexpectedly in middle age.

Hair loss is a universal marker for aging, with ones locks gradually diminishing over time. Your body slowly changes as well, with more sagging and wrinkles and ones muscle mass decreasing. However, hair loss hair can also occur suddenly at a young age, making you appear much older than you actually are.

Another aspect of balding is that people feel a loss of control. Hair is one of the few body parts that you can actually manipulate yourself. You can grow hair long, cut if off, you can wave it, dye it, or pull it back in a pony-tail. It serves as a form of self-expression. As people start to lose this form of self-expression, they can become depressed and withdrawn. But not everyone responds this way. People react very differently to their hair loss, with some considering it only a minor nuisance and others finding it so debilitating that they won’t be seen in public without their head covered.

So Did You Hear the One About...

One of the things that makes going bald difficult is that, for some reason, people feel that commenting or joking about hair loss is "fair game" when they wouldn’t dare mention that someone had bad skin, or had a limp. I often point out to patients, that just because people chose to comment about thinning hair, doesn’t mean they are judging that person or really care much about it. It just seems to be a socially acceptable thing to mention.

He Thinks, She Thinks

Women seem to believe that female hair loss is less acceptable than hair loss in men. While this may be true, the vast majority of women have hair loss in a pattern that can be easily camouflaged. Women are often reassured when they realize that about 40% of women experience hair loss over their lifetime, but it is to such a small degree that it is rarely recognized by the opposite sex.

Mane Options

The important things to remember are that hair loss is very common, it is much more acceptable as one ages, and it is generally less important to other people than the person experiencing hair loss thinks. That said, it is not unreasonable to be upset about going bald. Fortunately, for those who are bothered by their hair loss, there are now excellent medications to prevent hair loss and excellent surgical treatments to restore hair once it is gone.

About Author

Dr. Bernstein is Associate Clinical Professor of Dermatology at Columbia University, College of Physicians and Surgeons in New York and is the Director of Bernstein Medical – Center for Hair Restoration in Manhattan. http://www.BernsteinMedical.com

A History of the Vibrator

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Lonely Bank Guards Distracted by Virtual Woman during Robbery

Written by Jane Trebay

Two Leeds bank security guards were playing the computer video game Virtual Woman Millennium when thieves made off with 39,000 Euro (roughly 52,000 US Dollars) right under their noses.

The robbers broke in through a side door off of an alley leading to the bank and stole the money, which, along with a number of bank cheques, was waiting to be picked up for delivery by armored truck. The guards were so engrossed in the video game that they didn't hear the brazen heist.

The guards at first refused to admit that they had been not performing their duties. But under questioning from detectives they said that they had become lonely working at night and had borrowed a bank teller's personal computer for entertainment, using it to talk to a user created virtual woman. A detective on the scene said that a routine surveillance would have uncovered the crime, which looked to be the work of opportunistic amateurs.

Bank officials refused to comment on whether the guards would be sacked. "Let's put it this way" the bank manager said, "I don't think they are getting promoted."

Related Links

http://virtualwoman.net

Article Source: http://www.ArticleBlast.com

Healthy Habits

by: Nitin Jain

Incorporate these HEALTHY HABITS in your life

Following healthy habits can statistically increase your lifespan by up to 11 years! That's a lot of extra time to get to live, and you can add it to your life by following a few simple habits:

1. Never skip your breakfast. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Still, many of us skip it thinking that it will help us shed pounds. When you skip breakfast your blood sugar levels, as well as other nutrient levels drop, depriving you of the required nutrition and energy for the rest of the day. Breakfast eaters have a more positive attitude toward school and work, and they perform better.

2. Bite into something good. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Fruits are cool and juicy, so they get you the water you need to stay hydrated and they also provide the vitamins and nutrients that fat-free snack foods don't. They're good and they taste sweet - and some contain antioxidants that help prevent aging.

3. Eat regular meals. Skipping meals can lead to out-of-control hunger, often resulting in overeating. When you're very hungry, it's also tempting to forget about good nutrition. Snacking between meals can help curb hunger, but don't eat so much that your snack becomes an entire meal.

4. Quit smoking. Now, studies show that quitting smoking, you can restore your heart function back to that of a non-smoker within a few years. You'll breathe easier, cut down your chances for heart disease, cancer, and more. But you knew that, right? Also, if you're not a smoker, stay away from those who do. Secondhand smoke is a major killer - don't be afraid to tell people gently that you'd prefer it if they didn't smoke around you.

5. Exercise Daily! You don't have to be a professional athlete - just make time for 15-20 minutes of exercise daily. Take a walk, dance crazily to music, go for a jog, play volleyball on the beach, whatever it takes to get your heart pumping for a little while.

6. Get your sleep. Getting at least 8 hours of sleep every night can extend your life. Your body has time to recharge every night so it's fresh and ready to face the onslaught of the next day.

7. Every day, devote a little time for yourserlf. Take some time out of your "busy" schedule. First, eliminate all forms of intrusion. Then close your eyes, breathe deeply and let your thoughts float downstream like a log carried by the river. You can practice meditation or relax in a hot bath with aromatherapy. When a thought comes up, just watch it float away.

Read more health articles here: www.vitaminsdiary.com/articles/index.htm

About The Author

Educational guide to vitamins, minerals, amino acids and herbs for a healthier life - www.vitaminsdiary.com/

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Four Stages of Breaking an Addiction

This article is brought to you by Conquer Your Food Addiction.

Nowhere do the Four Stages of Addiction come into play more powerfully than they do when you resist changing a habit relating to the foods with which you self-medicate. For most of us those foods are the instant, and easily available – Bread, Beverage, Dessert, or Alcohol. For others they are the fatty foods, and plenty of them. You might choose huge portions of steak, hamburger, and French fries, enormous bowls of salad with globs of dressing. Perhaps chunks of cheese appear as a part of your daily food consumption.

Whether it is a basket of bread, a huge salad, or a box of cookies, your body takes so much extra time to slog through the extra food – more food than you’re able to burn – that it cannot easily process it. The body wears itself out. You get tired.

Calories are units of energy. After eating your meal you want to feel energized, not tired.

Eating more than you need causes you to feel as if you are in a drugged state. This altered state, zones out the brain, and helps you to escape from feelings.

Stage One – Resistance to change

My Program comes along and says: “Let’s not have a beverage at every breakfast. Sometimes, choose to have a beverage every two, or even three days. Soup is a meal. Put your fork down between bites. Weigh yourself twice a day.”

This is scary stuff. You may be thinking you’re comfortable this old way. Therefore, a new way can’t be as comfortable. You erroneously conclude you’ll feel uncomfortable. You don’t know this will be the outcome; you’ve never tried the new way before; but you resist change even though you know the old way is not working. One component of addiction is that you continue doing what you’re doing even though there are negative consequences.

It is your old Addict Pea Brain resisting change by projecting a negative outcome even though you don’t have any knowledge or experience that your projection is valid. The addiction twists your thinking to justify your behavior.

Stage Two – Begrudging attempts

You join a weight loss group or purchase a book and decide, however grudgingly, you’ll give it a try. “I don’t want to do this, but I’ll pick one no-coffee day. I don’t want to weigh myself twice a day. I don’t want to write down everything I eat. I don’t want to eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast. I don’t want to eat breakfast, but I will because I want to weigh ________ pounds.

Stage Three – Surprise, I enjoyed it

“I tried hot cereal at breakfast and I enjoyed it. I tasted the most wonderful soup for lunch one day. I didn’t think I’d like it, but I did. I had a cup of hot water instead of tea one night and it was actually very nice.”

Stage Four – The new way becomes the comfortable and preferred way

It’s important to know, however, that the attachment you seem to feel for certain foods is not predicated on how much you “love” that particular food. Rather, it indicates how very addicted you are to numbing yourself with that food. Thinking about the food, getting the food, eating the food in a certain way, has become an integral part of your self-medicating ritual. The thought of not “acting out” (not getting your drug) causes you great anxiety. You eat the item (bread, beverage, candy, popcorn, etc.) to relieve the discomfort caused by not eating the item. Consider not drinking coffee and getting a headache and then drinking a cup of coffee to relieve the discomfort caused by not drinking the coffee. It’s like a puppy chasing its tail.

Knowing there are four stages to breaking an addiction will help you be pro-active in traveling through stages two and three and shifting from resistance to change all the way to knowing the new way is the comfortable, preferred way. This information will break you of the food rituals you use to help quell your anger, anxiety, or other uncomfortable feelings or thoughts. Then you can deal with the feelings more directly, more appropriately.

This article is an excerpt from the book Conquer Your Food Addiction authored by Caryl Ehrlich. Caryl also teaches The Caryl Ehrlich Program, a one-on-one behavioral approach to weight loss in New York City. Visit her at http://www.ConquerFood.com to know more about weight loss and keep it off without diet, deprivation, props, or pills. Caryl welcomes questions or comments about this article and the behavioral methods she incorporates into her weight loss program. Contact her at Caryl@ConquerFood.com or call 212-986-7155.

How To Remove The Psychological Addiction To Smoking

( http://www.quitsmokingonline.com) All Rights Reserved.

Consider this:

Already since 1972, over 60 million people in the USA alone have successfully quit smoking!

At one stage over 60% of the adult population was addicted to this drug. Today it is 28% and dropping........

Now, isn't this a fair thought......

If all these people can do it (60 MILLION OF THEM!) - and they include EVERY TYPE of person imaginable - surely that is PROOF that IT IS POSSIBLE to successfully give up smoking.

Here's another Fact......

We now know from the latest scientific research, that although nicotine is one of the world's fastest acting drugs --- the actual PHYSICAL withdrawal pangs when you give up ARE SO MILD, YOU WILL HARDLY NOTICE THEM WHEN YOU STOP.

YES, you have read that sentence right!

I know you will want to argue with me on this point, but, first, let me first make the following points.......

The Desire to Smoke

Yes, when you stop smoking you will feel the desire AGAIN and AGAIN to smoke.

We all know that feeling -- 'I must have a cigarette'. But that desire in itself is not bad or painful.

It is just a feeling, a sensation we feel in our body.

However........this is where, for most of us our problems start.....

If we start to fear that 'craving' or try to use 'Willpower' to REPRESS it or FORCE it go away, -- "I wish this feeling would go away" we WILL create pain and tension.

This is what as smokers we have all done in the past.

That 'feeling' of wanting to smoke then becomes painful, annoying and terribly irritating.

Now this is the hard part to realize.......

The pain, the horror does not come from the desire to smoke, but from HOW we deal with this desire, moment-by-moment WHEN we stop.

Can I emphasize this:

You do not have to experience ANY pain or agony when you stop. Yes, when you stop you WILL experience a ...........

Temporary feeling of loss
A feeling that you are being deprived of something
A feeling of emptiness
A feeling that you will never be able to enjoy yourself again.
A feeling that you must have a cigarette

These feelings, although very real in themselves are not inherently bad or painful. What is important is how you deal with these feelings when you stop.

The key part of giving up smoking naturally is learning how to deal with these cravings when you stop.

Conflict

Right now, you don't want to give up smoking because you are TERRIFIED of how you will FEEL when you can't smoke.

Let's be honest.

You smoke now because you enjoy it.

Or -- to be more accurate: You smoke now because you have conditioned yourself to enjoy it.

It is important that we are honest with ourselves here.

In fact, even the 'THOUGHT', the mere 'thought' of not been able to smoke probably fills you with utter dread now.

But there is another undeniable fact: This 'pleasure' is killing you. Again we must be brutally honest here. Everyday, you are systemically destroying your health.

This is the conflict all smokers face.

On the one hand, smoking is killing you and you desperately want to stop.......

And yet on the other hand, you don't really want to stop because you believe you really enjoy it.

Yet, one other truth cannot be denied and this applies to every smoker........

We are terrified of how we will F-E-E-L when we can't smoke. We are convinced it will be unbearable and impossible.

FEAR

Right now, the ONLY thing -- yes, THE ONLY THING stopping you from giving up smoking is this fear of how YOU WILL FEEL WHEN YOU STOP.

And yet this very fear is the actual key to giving up smoking naturally.

Giving up smoking is really all about learning HOW to deal with the cravings and feelings you WILL get when you stop.

When you learn how to do that - you will realize that there is nothing to fear when you give up.

What is there to fear ?

When you get the craving to smoke, which you will, again and again - - you will now take the OPPORTUNITY to 'change' or 'transform' that craving so that it is actually enjoyable or at least tolerable to experience.

Imagine......

You have decided to give up smoking. It's dinnertime.

You have finished a day's work.....

You finish your meal and ..... subconsciously, you reach for a cigarette.

But then, of course you remember you no longer smoke.

Bang! At that moment, certain gut feelings will arise.

Feelings of regret........a feeling that you are missing out on something important and then maybe..... terrible feelings of emptiness..... We all know how it feels.

But the real question is: How will you deal with this feeling -- this craving to smoke?

Will you just suffer it, try to repress it and hope that it will go away? That is one option. The old willpower method.

Or will you give in to the feeling -- and start to smoke again (promising to start again tomorrow)?

Or will you - - for the first time ever: - - follow our instructions and actually ALLOW yourself to transform the feeling/craving so that it is actually enjoyable or at least pleasant or tolerable enough to experience.

You see, when you can do that, you will no longer be AFRAID of these cravings when you stop smoking.

In fact, you will start to WELCOME them because they will give you another opportunity to RESPOND and DEAL with them in this NEW WAY.

This process is the essence of giving up smoking naturally and finding it a pleasant and life-affirming experience.

Weight-loss?

Are you now beginning to see how these principles can also apply to losing weight.

You see a beautiful cake. You want to eat it....when BANG! -- You remember you are on a diet.

Now watch HOW YOU feel when this happens?

Couldn't we describe it as .... 'Feelings of regret........a feeling that you are missing out on something important and then maybe..... terrible feelings of emptiness.....

Isn't it essentially the same feeling as not being able to smoke?

However, the real question is the same with smoking: How will you DEAL with this feeling -- this craving to eat?

Will you GIVE IN to it -- and eat the cake or will you try and FORCE yourself not to eat it- and be miserable?

Why not consider our alternative?

Accept this feeling, this desire to eat. But, instead of giving in to it, learn how to deal and respond to it in a NEW way so that you don't MIND experiencing it?

Transform the craving so that it is actually enjoyable or very pleasant to experience.

The Joy of Giving up Smoking?

Remember, when you stop - yes, you WILL feel something but there will be no physical agony, only a temporary feeling that you are MISSING OUT on something.

A feeling that you are being deprived of something SPECIAL --- but these feelings will ONLY be temporary.

However, to quit smoking successfully and to start to enjoy doing it we must go deeper than these temporary cravings.

We must realize that :

You find it difficult or impossible to stop smoking now because......... you BELIEVE ABSOLUTELY that you NEED to smoke and even deeper, you BELIEVE that if you give up smoking now, your life will never be as ENJOYABLE again.

In one sentence: You believe your life will be intolerable.

It is these beliefs that makes giving up smoking difficult NOT Nicotine addiction.

Right now, you are not only physically addicted to smoking but you are psychologically dependent or addicted to smoking.

If your addiction were purely physical wouldn't all these nicotine patches have a 100% success record ?

Yet, we all know that even if we use a nicotine substitute, we will still continue to feel a terrible desire to smoke.

Again and again, we'll feel we must have a cigarette. At times, it will even get to the stage where we just don't care - even the most dire health warnings will have no affect on us - we just WANT to smoke.Where does this desire come from ?

It comes from our conditioning, our beliefs about smoking.

This moment, we believe that smoking is an essential pleasure. In fact, most of us have a terrible resistance to EVEN thinking about giving up smoking.

Why ?

Because we believe that in order to do anything about our addiction, i.e. give up smoking -- we would have to end our pleasure and ending pleasure is something we have NO DESIRE to do.

YOUR REAL JOB

Your real job in giving up smoking lies in REALLY UNDERSTANDING that you don't NEED to smoke.

You remove the psychological addiction to smoking.

You will never be truly free until you realize that smoking is not a real pleasure and that when you stop, you WILL NOT BE depriving ourselves of a real pleasure....... ......and then you will not only be able to give up smoking for good but you will enjoy doing it!

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Is it possible to enjoy, yes ENJOY quitting smoking - and not gain ANY weight? Follow the famous 10-day Free online Quit Smoking Course by Sean O'Riain at http://www.quitsmokingonline.com and prove it for yourself.

Sean O 'Riain is also the author of the Bliss of meditation.

Nineteen Foods to Help Prevent Breast Cancer

Recent research suggests that adding these foods to your diet could significantly lower your risk of breast cancer.

#1 Yellow orange vegetables -- Eating foods high in beta- carotene has been linked in many studies to lower rates of breast cancer. Tip: Baby carrots beta-carotene is more absorbable then regular carrots and carrots beta-carotene is 500% more absorbable than in raw carrots. (MultiWellness)

#2 Cruciferous vegetables-- radish, broccoli, cauliflower, rutabaga, cabbage, turnips, turnip greens, contain indole -3-carbinol, which lowers women's levels of a type of estrogen that may promote breast cancer.(16-hydroxy- estradiol and 16-hydroxy-estrone). Tip: Look for BroccoSprouts, a brand of broccoli sprouts with megalevels of SGS, a compound that fights mammary tumors in mice. (Super Foods Wellness)

#3 Warm a mug of 1%-2% organic hormone free milk (Alta Dena), add 1 tbs. ground almonds, pumpkin seed or walnuts or 1/4 tbs. natural almond extract, and enjoy it at bedtime. Why not fat-free milk? Because there's an intriguing compound in milk fat (including butter)-- conjugated linoleic acid -- that fights breast cancer cells in test tubes and animals.

#4 Eat tomatoes, including cooked, dried, soups, juice and sauces, even Ketch-up to fill up on a compound called lycopene. Diets high in lycopene are linked to lower rates of breast and prostate cancer.

#5 Give up the red wine and eat grapes instead. More than one alcoholic beverage a day increases your risk of breast cancer. But concord grapes have cancer-fighting antioxidant power.

#6 Eat cold water fish (salmon, tuna,* anchovies, swordfish, polluck, crab, sardines) and omega-3 rich nuts and seeds (walnut, pumpkin, flax). Research suggests that women with higher tissue levels of omega-3s have lower rates of breast cancer. <*not light tuna.>

#7 Women whose diets are higher in vitamin D have less breast cancer. To ensure that you get the recommended level, add Vitamin D to a healthy diet, advise many experts, especially in climates or lifestyles with out year round sun (20 minutes a day).

#8 Eat a small bowel of dark cherries. Cherries are a top source of a compound that may inhibit mammary cancer in rats.

#9 Compounds called limonoids, found in the peel and white membrane of oranges, inhibit breast cancer in test tubes. Eat whole fruit oranges and tangerines. Look for herbal teas made w/ orange lemon peel. Use real orange and lemon oils in cooking and health drinks.

#10 Avoid refined grains and choose whole grains instead. At least one study has shown that women who ate the most refined grains had more breast cancer. Another study showed women who ate one serving a day of a cereal high in wheat bran lowered their level of breast cancer -promoting estrogen.

#11 Use butter over margarine. Butter contains CLA's mentioned in #3. One study suggests that a diet higher in trans fats may increase the risk of breast cancer. Margarine, most french fries, both frozen and fast-food, and many processed and fried foods made with hydrogenated fats are a top trans fat source. If you prefer margarine, use a trans-fat free brand.

#12 Drink green tea, hot or cold. Green tea is rich in EGCG, a compound that inhibits breast cancer cells in mice. Caffienated brands have twice as much potency as uncaffienated. And most bottled brands have little. Mix with herbal teas and lemon peel for taste, or naturally sweeten with a little Concord grape juice or super low glycemic Agave.

#13 Instead of commercial "olive oil" dressings - usually made with a mixture of oils -- make your own easy dressing with half olive oil, half balsamic vinegar. Mediterranean women who eat lots of olive oil have low rates of breast cancer, studies show.

#14 Garlic kills breast cancer cells in the test tube and maybe in you. But if you're going to cook garlic, always peel and chop, then let it rest for 10 to 15 minutes before you heat. Heating right away doesn't allow time for the cancer-fighting compounds to develop.

#15 Women in one study who ate a serving of spinach at least twice a week had half the rate of breast cancer of women who avoided it .

#16 Flavorful veggie burgers and sausage won't form the same compounds that meat does when it's being cooked and those compounds may explain why women who eat lots of red meat and lots of very well done meat seem to get more breast cancer.

#17 Why flaxseed? Because it has 75 times more lignin precursors, compounds that inhibit mammary tumors in animals.

# 18 Add soy. Soy's isoflavinoids work as weak estrogen’s, blocking the more powerful estrogen’s from stimulating estrogen sensitive cancer cells. (UltraMeal)

#19 Phyto herbs, like don quai, fennel, black cohosh are also weak estrogens that compete with stronger estrogen’s for estrogen receptor sites. These are found in many "Change of life formulas. (Menopause Wellness)

The 20th step is to just do it!

Dr. John H. Maher, Editor.,"Longevity News" Your FREE Anti-Aging Prescription On-line. http://RxforWellness.com

How To Choose A Good Quality Vitamin Supplement

How To Choose A Good Quality Vitamin Supplement For You And Your Family Without Getting Ripped Off

As you may have already experienced, figuring out how to choose a good quality vitamin and mineral supplement can be a confusing and time consuming task.

The purpose of this article is to look at several important factors that you should consider when looking for a good quality vitamin and mineral supplement and to provide you with resources where you can learn more.

CONSIDERATION #1: ABSORPTION

Here is one of the first questions you should keep in mind:

Will the ingredients in the vitamin and mineral supplement you are considering actually be absorbed by your body?

There are many steps that the ingredients in your vitamin and mineral supplement (referred to as supplement from now on) have to go through in order to make it all the way through your digestive tract, into your blood stream and ultimately to the location where your body can use them.

It's a complex process and there are many opportunities for the process to not go quite right and prevent your supplement ingredients from getting to where they are supposed to. Let's look at some factors that can affect the journey your supplement takes and also affect how well your body can absorb a supplement's ingredients.

WHAT IS BIOAVAILABILITY?

Bioavailability is the degree to which a nutrient is available to the body for use. More specifically, for a nutrient to be bioavailable it must be within physical proximity to the cell so the cell can use it. Also, for a nutrient to be bioavailable it has to be dissolved in some sort of solution so that the nutrient can be transported across the cell membrane.

From a non biochemistry perspective, here's a simple way to picture what needs to happen; the nutrient has to make it all the way from your mouth to the cell and be in a form the cell can use.

For bioavailability to occur, certain things have to happen once you put that supplement into your mouth. Here are two of those processes. One is dissolution which refers to how fast a supplement dissolves. An example to help you picture this process would be taking some sugar, putting it in a glass of water and stirring it with a spoon until the sugar disappears.

Another process is disintegration. This is similar to dissolution only disintegration refers to how fast the capsule or tablet breaks into smaller pieces so that the dissolution process can take place.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR SUPPLEMENT WILL DISSOLVE

So how in the world are you going to be able to tell if the supplement you are considering does all this dissolution and disintegration stuff? Fortunately, it's pretty straight forward to figure out. A good way to know that your supplement is meeting these standards is to make sure there is some sort of "USP" designation on the label of the product.

USP refers to U.S. Pharmacopeia, an organization that was established to create state-of-the-art standards to ensure the quality of medicines that humans use. This includes vitamin/mineral supplements.

An example of the kind of USP designation that you want to look for on the label of a product you are considering would be something like, "this product conforms to the USPXXVII requirements for disintegration and dissolution".

WHAT CHELATION DOES

Chelation is very important when it comes to making sure that the minerals in your supplement are bioavailable. Chelation refers to a process that increases the absorption of minerals such as chromium, copper, iron, magnesium, manganese, molybdenum and zinc.

It can be hard to get minerals all the way to that bioavailable state that was discussed earlier. Chelation involves wrapping the mineral in an amino acid so that the body can more easily absorb it. This can improve the absorption of some minerals from only 10% absorption for a non chelated mineral to 45% and more for a chelated mineral.

So when you are looking at the label of a vitamin supplement and you find a trace mineral such as manganese as one of the ingredients, you want to see something like "Manganese (as Manganese Chelate)" on the label. This indicates that the manganese mineral has been chelated.

WHAT CAN HAPPEN IF YOU PICK THE WRONG SUPPLEMENT

If the vitamin supplement you are considering doesn't meet the standards discussed above, it can pass right through your body and do you no good at all.

To give you an example of this, I have actually seen a photo of an x-ray taken of a person's colon area with the vertebrae of their backbone off to one side. In this photo I could clearly see two supplement tablets, still intact, looking like they had just came out of the bottle. These supplement tablets were poorly made, never disintegrated and would soon end up in the toilet.

Photos like these are a graphic illustration of the fact that just because you swallow your vitamin supplement doesn't mean your body is going to be able to use it.

ARE YOU WASTING YOUR MONEY?

With this in mind, let's look at this useless, undissolved supplement from a another perspective; a financial one. Let's say you find a great deal on a supplement and start taking it. We'll call it Supplement X. Let's also say this Supplement X costs $20 for a sixty day supply.

You think you've found a great deal, however what if it turns out that your Supplement X has been poorly manufactured and is only 10% bio available. What this means is that your body will be only able to use $2 worth of this supplement ($20 times 10%).

And what happened to the other $18 you paid for the supplement? It went right through your body, that's what. Looking at it another way, you paid $20 for your sixty day supplement supply yet ended up completely wasting 90% of that $20 you spent. You literally flushed $18 right down the toilet.

Just like everything else in life, there is no free lunch. When it comes to choosing a supplement, don't be cheap. Do your homework and find a good quality supplement that your body can actually use.

OTHER FACTORS TO CONSIDER

Are the health benefit claims being made by the company provable?

Vitamin supplement companies will claim that their product will do certain things or that the way they put together their product together or package it will create a particular health benefit. This may be true but the only thing that matters is have they proven it. Are their proven health benefits from taking their supplement.

Is the supplement you are considering safe to consume?

Just because the supplement is in a bottle, the bottle has a fancy label and it looks like it comes from a big company doesn't mean the ingredients in the supplement are pure and safe. There can be many harmful substances in that capsule that can have an immediate harmful effect as well as over the long term.

WHERE YOU CAN LEARN MORE

These other two aspects of how to choose a good quality vitamin and mineral supplement, that is, are the health benefit claims being made by the company provable and is the supplement you are considering safe to consume, are beyond the scope of this article.

However, if you would like to learn more about these health benefit and safety subjects, details on these additional topics are included on web pages that I have a link to below.

http://www.ajpip.com/vitamin_supplements/res/ind.htm

On these vitamin resources pages you will also find:
- organizations that can help you figure out what kinds of vitamins, minerals and other supplements may be right for you
- where you can get unbiased evaluations on the product you are considering
- some more interesting facts on absorption
- surprising information on colloidal minerals

FINAL THOUGHTS

If you have gotten to the point where you are looking for a vitamin and mineral supplement to take, congratulations. You have taken a positive step towards improving your health and taking better care of your body.

However, make sure to continue that commitment to yourself by doing your homework and making sure that you choose a good quality supplement. It makes no sense to go that far then end up wasting your money on something that your body can't even use.

- Andy Long

Aloe Vera - No Wonder They Call It The Miracle Plant

by: Kay Blackiston

Aloe Vera is a member of the Lily family. It is a succulent that looks a lot like a cactus and is known by various names such as the burnt plant, the miracle plant, the natural healer and the medicine plant. Although there are more than two hundred species of Aloe Vera, only a few have medicinal properties, and of these Aloe Vera Barbadensis is the most beneficial.

The Aloe Vera plant reaches maturity at about four years of age. The outer leaf is smooth and rubbery and inside is the gel and sap which is harvested, preserved and bottled to give either a juice or when combined with other ingredients creams, lotions and gels. About 96% of the plant is water. The rest is made up of minerals such as magnesium, zinc, copper, chromium and the antioxidant selenium, vitamins including the antioxidants C, E and beta carotene, 20 of the 22 amino acids required by the body including 7 of the 8 that cannot be manufactured by the body, sugars, enzymes and fatty acids. The combination of these elements has a more powerful effect together than they would individually. This is because each enhances the effect of the other, an occurrence that is known as synergism.

Aloe Vera works in two different areas; by promoting healing or preventing injury to the epithelial tissues (the skin, the lining of the gut, the bronchial tubes, etc) and by balancing the immune system when its antioxidants fight the free radicals produced by our metabolism and pollutants in the environment.

When taken internally, Aloe Vera is soothing to digestive tract irritations, such as colitis and peptic ulcers. The anti-inflammatory fatty acids are also helpful for the stomach, small intestine and colon. It alkalises the digestive juices preventing overacidity – a common cause of indigestion. Amongst many other ailments that have been helped by Aloe Vera are diverticulitis, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, constipation and haemorrhoids. Conditions that are improved by balancing the immune system are arthritis, asthma, ME (post viral fatigue syndrome) and LE (lupus).

When applied to the skin Aloe Vera improves a large variety of skin complaints such as eczema, psoriasis, ulcers, burns, stings, acne, bites, scrapes, abrasions, scalp care, sore muscles, cold sores, bruises, sprains and frostbite to name but a few!

More recent studies show Aloe Vera can help prolong survival time and stimulate the immune system of cancer patients. This is partly by fighting free radicals with its antioxidant properties and also by stimulating the white blood cells causing the release of immune-activating and anticancer substances such as interferons, interleukins and tumour necrosis factor. These properties of Aloe Vera have also made it an effective part of a nutrition support program for HIV patients; leading to fewer occurrences of infections such as thrush, fatigue and diarrhoea and an increase in the number of white blood cells meaning a boost to their immune system.

About The Author
Kay Blackiston has had an interest in health and nutrition for several years. She is now a personal weight loss coach supporting anybody who wishes to take charge of their lives and lose their excess weight. www.from-flab-to-fab.com. Various Aloe products are available from: www.healthandbeauty-online.com